How does one even start to explain the battle between Maurice Inexperienced and Gian Villante? What is that this sh*t? Abruptly, it’s not like something I’ve ever seen, and but it comically checks off so many low-level Heavyweight MMA stereotypes.

Let’s begin off with the stuff we’ve seen earlier than, like Villante’s obvious beer stomach. A devoted under-performer at 205-pounds who routinely frustrates his nook by refusing to do something, it’s maybe the least stunning information of 2020 that Villante used the pandemic as an excuse to cease reducing weight.

Greene, in the meantime, seems to be like a profitable athlete. Nicely, he’s tall and has discernible muscle tissue at any price. On the plus facet, Greene is mentally more durable than lots of his friends, and he’s younger sufficient to develop his abilities additional. Nonetheless, he additionally has a bizarre hodgepodge of an MMA recreation, one that can not be trusted to work persistently.

By advantage of being an precise Heavyweight, Greene in all probability ought to have knocked out Villante within the opening couple minutes. Sadly, Greene has discovered his option to the Jackson-Winkeljohn Academy. That’s a terrific health club to work with different massive males, but it surely does have a protracted historical past of instructing its athletes methods to rating factors from the skin reasonably than do precise harm.

Sadly, that’s the precise reverse of what Greene wants. Greene wants a placing coach to show him dedication, methods to safely stick jabs and crosses down the middle with weight behind the punches. As an alternative, he spent the primary ten minutes tiring himself out virtually fully with slapping punches. Oh, and who might neglect the numerous indirect kicks, the Jackson-Wink signature that labored when Jon Jones did it in 2013 — again when each single factor “Bones” tried labored — and has turn into an obvious fix-all.

Since his opponent was virtually attempting to not do harm, Villante was allowed to check issues out and see what labored. Notably, he realized that he can try this enjoyable massive man low kick, the place he simply drops all his weight onto the planted leg and permits his girth to ship appreciable drive.

Regardless of all the scale and a half-million indirect kicks to the thigh and testicles, it was Greene who limped.

For explicitly Heavyweight causes, Greene determined that if he was going to lastly commit his weight to a punch within the third spherical, it must be a Superman punch. Villante does perceive methods to throw common punches with energy and did simply that, jacking his foe’s jaw with a hook as he leaped ahead.

The battle almost ended there. Villante landed some big pictures, and Greene once more demonstrated that admirable grit. As an alternative, Villante exhausted himself chasing the end so badly that Greene truly wrapped up and completed an arm triangle from his again whereas almost mounted.

Even Dominick Cruz, vocal knower of all issues, was so perplexed he fell into silence.

To be clear, the arm triangle from backside is an actual transfer. You’ll be able to watch Aljamain Sterling strangle Takeya Mizugaki with it proper HERE. Nonetheless, it’s additionally a submission that requires a correct angle and management of the physique. Greene had neither, however some mixture of blood choke, chest smother, neck crank, and normal exhaustion nonetheless compelled the faucet.

It mustn’t have labored, but it surely did. Actually, I don’t consider there may be something to be realized from this battle. The division didn’t shift an inch. Even the 2 males concerned will stay largely unaffected. Greene seemingly has a tricky match up forward of him in Tanner Boser, a prospect whose recreation remarkably is sensible. In the meantime, Villante will probably simply acquire extra weight and look drained towards another person within the close to future.

There isn’t a option to make sense of the Heavyweight jumble. Whether or not one finds it entertaining or irritating, Heavyweight is indiscernible all these years after the game’s genesis.